Dear Editor,
Why are Americans interested in the English royal wedding?
After all we had to fight the oppressive English royalty to be free (the Revolutionary War). Then the English attacked us again (the War of 1812) and burnt down the White House. A 100 years later, we went over to Europe to save their behinds during the Great War (World War I). Followed up by another war that the English couldn’t win (World War II).
The English royalty got their wealth by stealing from their poor subjects for the past 1,000 years. Why be interested in a wedding of elitist snobs, who are really incompetent thieves? They are having an extravagant wedding with money that could have saved your ancestors from starving.
–David Waller